"AS CLOSE AS AN IRON BAR DOES TO AN ELECTROMAGNET": An Interview with Andi Social

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: TODAY I AM JOINED BY FELLOW ROBOT, ANDI SOCIAL. WE ROBOTS NORMALLY COMMUNICATE USING BINARY CODE, BUT NON-ROBOTS WOULD FIND IT TOO DIFFICULT TO DECIPHER A LONG SERIES OF ONES AND NOUGHTS.

ANDI SOCIAL: 10110011

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: HA HA HA! SO, FIRST QUESTION. WHY ARE YOU BEST FRIENDS WITH DETHBERT JONES, WHO IS A NON-ROBOT?

ANDI SOCIAL: WE MET AT SCHOOL AND BONDED OVER A COMMON INTEREST IN ALGEBRA. I WAS INTERESTED IN GETTING ALL OF THE QUESTIONS CORRECT, AND HE WAS INTERESTED IN COPYING MY ANSWERS. AS WE INTERFACED MORE, WE BECAME AS CLOSE AS AN IRON BAR DOES TO AN ELECTROMAGNET.

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST SKILL?

ANDI SOCIAL: EVER SINCE DETHBERT INFORMED ME THAT THERE IS A DANCE ON EARTH CALLED 'THE ROBOT' I HAVE SECRETLY BEEN LEARNING IT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: AFFIRMATIVE.

ANDI SOCIAL: <DOES 'THE ROBOT'>

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: YOU DIDN'T LOOK ANY DIFFERENT TO HOW YOU NORMALLY DO.

ANDI SOCIAL: THANK YOU.

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: NEXT QUESTION. IF YOU COULD BE ANY ANIMAL FOR THE DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE, AND WHY?

ANDI SOCIAL: I WOULD BE A WOMBAT. DID YOU KNOW THAT WOMBAT POOP COMES OUT IN A CUBE SHAPE?

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: NO, I DID NOT KNOW THIS. A MOST VALID REASON FOR BECOMING A WOMBAT. FINALLY, WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS TIME?

ANDI SOCIAL: DESPITE MY METEOR ALLERGY [I COME OUT IN A RUST RASH] I WOULD STILL LIKE TO BECOME A SPACE EXPLORER. DETHBERT AND I ARE GOING TO SAVE UP AND BUY OUR OWN SPACE CRAFT ONE DAY. SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: THAT WOULD BE AN EXCITING WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. ALSO, I CAN LET YOU HAVE A TUB OF GREASE FOR YOUR ALLERGIES.

ANDI SOCIAL: THANK YOU, SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000.

SERGEANT MEGATRON 5000: THANK YOU ANDI SOCIAL FOR AN ENLIGHTENING VERBAL EXCHANGE.

JOIN ME NEXT TIME WHEN I WILL BE INTERFACING WITH THE COSMIC CORRESPONDENT HIMSELF, DETHBERT JONES.

Dear Earthling: Cosmic Correspondent will be available on December 3, 2018. Pre-order your copy now!